The night before surgery…

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I’ve found reading others’ blogs helpful, and I’ve already been journalling pretty much every day about my wildly careening emotions as my fur-man and I face his cancer diagnosis, so I figured I could do that journalling here just as easily and maybe someone else will… find my melodramatic teeth gnashing… helpful? … Or something.

For backstory.

Tomorrow is surgery day.  I dropped him off this morning and felt like shit about it even though I honestly think it’s the best of all the really bad choices we had.  I spent the rest of the day actively trying not to think about it.  I will spend tomorrow, no doubt, alternating between guilt and mind-numbing work and television.  His surgeon is going to call me before and after his amputation.  Just in case we’re part of no doubt extremely outlier stats on surgery complications, I tried to make sure I gave him a good morning this morning before I took him in.  (His terror after we got there kinda cancelled out the morning fuzzies, but it was a nice thought.)

All of this would probably be less distressing if I were not a pessimist, huh?

Note to self for future heart-splintering scenarios.

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One thought on “The night before surgery…”

  1. Awwwww he is suuuuuuch a sweetie. That face of his makes my heart melt.

    I’m so glad you started a blog, and thank you for sharing the backstory too. I know that your journey is going to help other people for years to come, what a gift to the community.

    Something tells me he always has good mornings with you, and there will be many more to come.

    I’ll be following along closely to see how he’s doing. (((hugs)))

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